Flashback Friday, Folks!

I am constantly aching to travel. It is one of my many passions! Our neighbors just got back from England and I was longingly browsing through their pictures of sightseeing, beachlounging, ice cream tasting, etc. etc. It made me think about how travel is my drug. It lifts me to a higher place to meet new people, see amazing things that I can't see anywhere else, take in smells that don't exist anywhere else. The majority of my travels have been with friends and though going abroad is loads of fun, you can run into all kinds of setbacks, disagreements, arguments, challenges with the culture/setting/people, money... all of the little things make the whole trip. Here are some of my nostalgics from times abroad:

When Jess and I stayed at a hostel in Paris we were stoked because we knew we had a balcony and couldn't wait to step out onto it, pulling back the lace curtain like a true French mademoiselle. Oh we had a balcony all right... it was just cozy enough to fit our drinks! Since we were there in February and it was nippy outside we just made the best of it and used it as our little fridge:



Another travel experience with Jess... in Guatemala... we had a British friend of Jessie's with us named Ossian and he was the ideal travel partner: funny, easygoing, adventurous... that's about all you need. Anyway the morning of Jessie's birthday we realized that we had no gift for her and so we scrounged our meager food rations and found a half of a sweet cake/bread loaf, some peanut butter, and Ossian had a banana. We used the peanut butter as frosting, made a "25" out of sliced bananas, and sang happy birthday to her that morning! (then jumped into the water you see in the background where I got bitten my whole body over by some elusive water bugs)



This is Sarah and me. We went to school together in Switzerland (studied French). On the weekends we were allowed to go on our own planned excursions and she and I and a couple of other girls were on our way to Venice. Riding those Italian trains are scary... any train in Europe for that matter... our friend brought one bag for the weekend and it got stolen on the train. She wore the same clothes for three days and that sucks in sticky summery stinky Venice! I just remember Sarah and I thought it was so cool that these train seats reclined back and we laid there, talking intently the whole ride over!



When Jess and I were in Venice for Carnivale in February we decided we should hang with the locals for a bit. And if you're going to find some Venetian locals to hang out with, gondoliers aren't a bad choice. Don't worry D, I was never thinking of running off with him. Although as Jess and I were literally RUNNING to the train station to leave Venice and were in the biggest hurry of our lives, this gorgeous Italian man grabbed me out of the crowd and looked me in the eye, saying in his broken English, "You are-a-leavina?" Apparently he had seen me the day before "onna the bridge-a" and told me please to stay at least one more day. Oh my, hold your breath and walk away!



In Switzerland the whole group of students was treated to a night out. They took us to this hidden-away castle which was elegant and beautiful (didn't get a pic of the outside) and we were served a 7-course meal! We were supposed to be speaking French to each other but of course with this American table that was not happening. We were all laughing and letting loose because school there was quite strict and not easy to bust our brains learning and speaking French. Anyway, I don't drink but the alcohol was pretty much unlimited and believe me, the wine was a-flowin'.

Paris. So beautiful. My friends and I stayed in a hostel and this was the view from our room. This is one of my favorite pictures to date, because it is just bohemian Paris in innocent end-of-day sunlight, I love it. We all stood at this very window on Le quatorze Juillet (14th of July... the French Independence Day) and counted EXACTLY 14 separate spots in the city where fireworks were booming in the sky. We couldn't get over the coincidence. It was unforgettable.



When Jess and I were in Guatemala this one room we shared with Ossian was so incredibly hot and humid. We were thrilled beyond belief that they actually provided a fan and as Ossian was out swimming he had left his boxers hanging on this peg. Jess and I were organizing our things to leave and started laughing at how the fan was billowing the leg holes of his boxers. We HAVE to do every photo op possible and all we had to do was look at each other and we knew it would be the picture of a lifetime to have our heads in the legs of his blown-up boxers. Well, we got the pic back and this is how it turned out!



This is in the Gothic District of Barcelona, Spain. This street performer had everyone in awe. He had constructed these strange beautiful marionettes and they seemed like real people the way he made them move. Not only was he engineering the movement of the puppets, but he was playing a flute, making eye contact with people, and making the puppet at the base of his feet beg. He'd press on a foot pedal and the doll would shake the money in the tin can, trying to get compensation for his entertainment. It was a set-up like I've never seen, as if straight out of a dream:



I was fascinated that people around the world really do walk like this, with baskets on their heads! This was in downtown Quetzaltenango in Guatemala where Jess was living and studying Spanish. She's dressed in the traditional clothes but with high heels walking in the city streets downtown.



Here's another Swiss castle... I just remember after the tour they gave us time to do whatever and I wanted to be on my own so I ventured around the grounds. Everywhere I turned there was lush green, privacy, gorgeous scenery (it was up pretty high), sun, warmth. I walked along this trail and felt so lucky to be where I was...

Half-Year Mark

6 months old? It's totally worth celebrating. Sweet Crosby, we love love love you so much!

You are made up of many wonderful characteristics. You are...

FUNNY! We've sensed your sense of humor since birth, no joke... you are HILARIOUS at all the right times and make Mom and Dad laugh every single day.



You are also smart. Not many parents think their kids are smart (; You are smart in part because you are so curious. You've become taken with your set of instruments and act like a mini conductor, body bent over the piano as if you are composing music! We wonder... are you?



Another thing you are is handsome. We don't like to brag or anything, but well... look at you, beautiful baby guy!



Most important is that we see that you are happy. We hope you know how happy you make us, Crosby! You = joy and thank you for adding so much love to our home.

Love,

Dad



&

Mom

Life

I wasn't going to post about this because it is a tender issue but a friend of mine passed away on August 10th. It is just very awful because so many people had no idea she was suffering. She was the most lively, entertaining, active, cute, happy, gorgeous girl and had such a presence. I had no clue she had anything going on, but she was dealing with serious postpartum depression and then that snowballed into bipolar disorder. It consumed her; she took her own life. She leaves behind a husband (almost done with med school) and two sweet children: a three-year-old boy and a girl 14 months.



Dealing with what everyone's deemed "baby blues" was at some points almost unbearable for me after having Crosby. I recall one night D had to leave for work and I was rocking Crosby and sobbing to where my face was MELTING off and when he had to leave I CLENCHED on to Croz; he was all I had! I was so so sad because hopelessness crept in. But. I try to imagine an actual disorder where it never leaves you it consistently haunts you. I can't even imagine what horror Amber must have been tortured with... medicine even left her hopeless because... she didn't feel at home with herself either way.

This has sparked such a concern because I know how many women must need help but for so many reasons refuse to get it. I've read and researched online and it said that if you have diagnosed bipolar already and are pregnant or are planning on getting pregnant... get your support system in order and you need CONSTANT support after having that baby because there are high suicide risks. Some women though get postpartum depression which in worst cases turns into postpartum psychosis. This is very dangerous to the mother and the baby because with this too there is such a risk of suicide and infanticide, where they feel they need to kill themselves AND the baby. They have done a few recent studies finding that for some reason a small percentage end up with bipolar after the depression or psychosis like Amber did. I had never heard of depression turning into bipolar or of postpartum psychosis but this is all very interesting to me because it is just so real. These hormones us women have are freakish and they scare me! But we need to make huge strides together as women to help each other. Anyone reading this with ANY problems or thinking they don't feel right PLEASE GET HELP because it is out there for you... talk to each other. Don't be afraid what people think; it doesn't matter. One of the best possible things to do is find other moms who you feel at home with and get yourself out there WITH them because they have problems too. Just talk about it at least. Know everyone deals with these sickening hormones that make us crazy. (It doesn't help that it's that time of the month for me, can ya tell?) Several people after I had Croz asked if I was feeling okay and warned me to make sure that if I am not feeling in my right mind to get help and don't be scared about it. Several people I know dealt with depression and got help for it and those are just the people that have been open about it. Everyone gets their share, but the levels vary greatly. I was fine after I got past my several weeks but if the helplessness lasts and lasts... you know what to do? Make the call to your doc and take it seriously and don't give a second thought "what people might think" because too many women's cries are not being heard.

OKAY! I will stop. I can't bring myself to make this strictly a sad post; I will end on a MUCH (yes I know MUCH MUCH) lighter note... after finishing my popsicle this afternoon I let Croz have the last lick, then it turned into a raspberry-fest, gotta love it.

Bless... ed

I have been feeling extremely blessed lately; just so thankful for my family... my husband, my son... life can be as busy as you want it to be and I've been trying to meditate on my morning walks/runs, giving thanks for many many blessings. Guess I'm riding on a bit of a high and why not ride those while you can, right?

Croz kept giving me these straight-line froggy smiles today. It might have to do with teething, but gosh what a cute frog.



Lucy and I were the queens of yellow last Sunday.



Dangit, D's mom was smiling but were her eyes open? No. This is D, his brother Suman, and their mom for those of you who don't know them.



Crosby was given a father's baby blessing on Sunday and it was a wonderful day. He looked like Andre Agassi in his little getup.



Finally our niece Eden got to meet her cousin Crosby. She was nuts about him and him for her. Can't put into words how cute they were to watch together.

My parents are so dear to me. They are so sweet with Crosby and what fun it is to see them interact with him. I love how when Crosby's in his carseat my dad tilts it and pulls him close while they talk and play. They might even love him just as much as I do (;



Another Red Butte Garden Monday night concert; those bagpipes pump the blood through my veins a little stronger every time I hear them!



Crosby and Uncle Suman... I played around and did something funky to this picture, don't ask me what



I loved this pic of Eden and Reese (her other cousin), they were as carefree as could be. After the concert all of the kids went to the top of the hill and rolled down it again and again.



We enjoyed our stay at the Museum of Ancient Life - that is when we weren't dodging eight thousand other strollers and moms and kids... I almost climbed a dinosaur with Croz to escape the swarms. Think twice before you hightail it to $2 Tuesday please! We honestly thought the president was attending the way the lines were weaving throughout the (large) parking lot.



Summer is slowly coming to a close and I'm not too nostalgic about it this year because glorious Fall is what we have to look forward to! I'm seeing leaves already starting to change, the sun doesn't really burn anymore it just kind of gently sinks into you, and I'm getting those hankerings for anything pumpkin... pie, cookies, bread... uh oh. Just one of those things. Can't wait for Crosby to help us rake leaves this year! Autumn I love you, have missed you, and can't wait to see you again.