Friday, November 20, 2009

Changes

Tuesday afternoon of last week I got a phone call from D's mom Sabita. It began as a normal conversation but little did I know it would end with me needing to find a way to get her to the hospital as fast as possible. She mentioned that after eating some lunch she had felt the left side of her face growing tingly and numb. She called one of her best friends Hazel... a 98-year-old neighbor... who sent her grandkids over to check on Sabita.

One of them talked to me on the phone and said they were almost positive that she had experienced a stroke and that there is absolutely no time to lose, get her to the hospital immediately. I was so confused because she had talked normally to me but they said when they got there Sabita was mumbling and couldn't make words out. D rushed out of work to pick her up and took her to the IMC ER.

This has all been such a whirlwind and we keep saying to each other, "I can't believe this has happened," but it is amazing what has happened in just over a week. D's mother is an absolute fighter. The doctor said she had a severe stroke. When the stroke happened, it hit 3 areas of her brain so it is as if she had 3 major strokes on the right lower side of her brain. I could go on and on about the details of last week, but in a nutshell she was in the Neuro Critical Care Unit for 5 days. We were worried, confused, and not feeling as hopeful then. All of this is so new to us and D and I have wanted so badly to be with her at the hospital throughout those days of crisis in order to talk to doctors, nurses, evaluate Sabita... but that's been tough given that someone has to work (D) and someone has to tend to the needs of a 20-month-old (me)! However we have been able to either both of us or one of us be at the hospital each day. My mom and dad have made this possible. Thank you two, we love you so much.

Tuesday of this week Sabita was moved to the rehab floor. The results of the stroke are: she can hardly move her left arm/hand/fingers, her left leg/foot/toes, she has some vision in her left eye affected (still not sure how much), and she still cannot swallow at this point. But here is what is incredible: her speech is top-notch. In the beginning days after this her speech was very slurred and there was some stuttering but last night when D and I went to see her, she looked so so good and we are so so grateful. We know that to some extent she is the one with the will to heal but we also know that it is the prayers flowing from others that has gotten her to this point. Thank you!

There are thousands of thoughts, decisions, feelings, etc. racing through our minds but no action yet because we don't know how long Sabita will be recovering in the hospital. We are feeling hopeful now that it won't be as long as we originally predicted; the doctors can make NO predictions so it is frustrating. Up to this point Sabita was totally self-reliant, living on her own... she is only 60 years old. She does have diabetes and high blood pressure, which contributed to the stroke. But we are pretty sure she won't be allowed to live on her own from here on out so the questions are: will she move in with us or will we move in with her but we can't answer those for a few months. We are just so happy to see her doing so well now!

I still can't get over how her mind/speech have been left intact the way they have. We've understood every word (though sometimes slurred) she said since the day this happened to her. She was even telling us to take out the stinky garbage and to please go buy this Thomas train for Crosby's Christmas present because it won't be on sale at Big Lots much longer! When we asked what she needs from home all she requested were a picture of each grandchild: one of Crosby and one of Eden. She asks us to hand her the pictures, takes them from us, kisses them both, and then lays them on her chest, hugging them to her.

Still in the denial stage a bit. D had taken her to the hospital in her car and when I was going through it I found her clothes wadded up that she had worn the day the stroke happened, along with her tennis shoes. I looked at those shoes and wondered if she'll be able to ever walk again. It makes me sick to my stomach to realize the sheer damage that takes place with a stroke. D was saying how she walked out of the house like normal on the way to the hospital and didn't even lock the screen door because she though she was coming right back. These kinds of things keep circling in my mind and it breaks my heart. We learned that the effects of stroke don't manifest themselves until a day or two after it occurs. However, it is important to stay hopeful. We have every reason to because her recovery seems to be going quite well. She has speech, occupational, activities of daily living, and physical therapists working with her 6 times a day and so we are settling in for the recovery process.

Of course when times of stress like this take place, who doesn't get sick or injured?! Over the weekend Crosby and I got sick and then early this week D tweaked his back and then yesterday I wrenched my neck. Of course! But luckily D and me got the minor stuff... my sore throat and cold lasted literally only two days and D's back is just going to take a week of healing. Crosby is the one we've had trouble with... Monday we found out from an x-ray that he had the early stages of pneumonia. But he's doing so much better now! We now have a new apparatus in our home: a nebulizer. Learning so many new things lately :) But all it is is albuterol solution that he inhales through a mask 3 times a day and then we'll get him checked out next Monday to make sure he's all better.

I will take a short second to brag about my child. He is the most amazing little boy. We love him over the moon and back a million times. He was SO patient with the doctor and then getting the xray and now when we have to do his little treatments all I have to say is, "Croz it's time for your mask!" and he inhales this huge noisy breath of excitement and starts doing this little dance with a HUGE smile on his face. Now I'm thinking it's not the mask he loves but the Thomas shows he gets to watch while "doing his mask." So darling! He is patient, he is sweet, he is adorable, he is funny. We are so lucky that I can't think too much about but rather feel overwhelmingly grateful for how blessed we are to have been given this incredibly special child to love and care for. He is joy beyond joy!

And my parents. I ask my parents to watch Crosby and they don't even blink before saying, "I would love to..." I constantly apologize for "burdening" them but all they can say is how they wouldn't want to be doing anything else. My mom and dad are the most helpful, compassionate, kind people. I love them so much! And I am so glad they are here for Crosby. I know how much they love to spend time with him, but do you guys realize how much he LOOOOVEs to spend time with you?!

So last night I had to snap a pic because Granny B had wanted us to take her balloons home from the hospital for C to play with and so I picked out this fish one for him and last night he was screaming with pleasure while playing with it. Then it was time for his mask but he would NOT let go. I usually hold him on my lap while we do this but I set him there and he just sat there, kept his little mask on, and held tighter than ever to that balloon while watching his show.



He has been SO cooperative and sweet, what a doll!

And then yesterday we were on an errand and Croz was playing with an old cell phone that my parents gave him. I had my camera in my purse so I whipped out a video while driving; yes I was careful and you can tell from the video that I was def. watching the road but I love hearing the inflections in his voice and watching his little mannerisms when he's talking on the phone.

video

Times like these... when a loved one's life or health is compromised... never fails to cause lots of thinking, lots of reflection. Please think of the people you love the most and express your love to them now. Life changes moment to moment. Also it has made us rethink our habits of health. It is so important to stay active, number one. I know some health issues can't be avoided, but this has made me want to go for a walk or run each day to keep that blood flow movin'! Just makes you want to take good care of yourself and the people close to you.

Love to all and thanks to all who have been offering help and expressing concern. It means so much!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Leaves

Freshly-fallen Autumn leaves are one of those smells I would bottle if I could. That spicy mysterious smell. I do love it. Raking leaves takes it out of you though. As close as I am to complaining about raking once again this fall, I'll keep my mouth shut. On this kind of a glorious day it would be like a hex. See why I want to complain though?



I just threw the last few bags on top of this monster of a pile... there are at least 23 bags, with 10 before that which have already been picked up. And we had the original 10 sliced by some kids so we had to do those all over again!

Today is a very special D-Day: my Nan's, who passed away in '97. It has been so long but still I remember and miss my grandmother so much. She died way too young. In a poem I wrote about her back in high school one of the lines was, "... so on a calm November 4th there were golden leaves and sun..." the day she died was one exactly like this. So beautiful! Miss you so Nan.



Also I am missing Pops; he died in '06 on November 14th. I looked at this laceleaf tree today in our yard and imagined myself looking at them with him, touching the leaves (he landscaped the yard and had a love affair with laceleafs). I had a moment to myself and I could hear his voice. I had a little conversation with him. I told him that they looked electric orange and then literally choked on a lump in my throat and started crying. I miss him!



A couple of weeks back we had a raking party at Grandma Beck's. Many hands make light work, even when those hands are itty-bitty. My darling niece and nephews ages 6 and under helped out a lot!



Time out for pogo lessons, thanks Auds



You had to stand in line to try it out



Crosby needs one for Christmas I think!



Here's my Grandma Beck with the rakers



The sad thing is that it is already time to go rake some more!



My friend Karin has been in town waiting for her visa to get back with her 18-month-old to her hubby in England. Yesterday was her birthday and so we went to eat at Happy Sumo with her sister-in-law Anna. Lucky I had a cupcake at home left over from Sunday dinner. I don't think she cared about the 2-day-old baked goods, it was celebration time!



Karin and I both had recently gotten pedis, so we had to show them off :0)



Here's the best part. She thought she might have to wait one or two months longer to get her visa but she talked to someone yesterday and they said it's in the mail, WOHOOOOOO! What a birthday present, eh?



Thanks for the fun night girls. And thank you SO much Mom and D for wrangling the boys.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Too Much

Lately I have been having way too much fun. Seriously! I don't always like my life to be that way. I get to feeling like too many nice things are making me happy. Somewhere along the way in my life I developed a little complex where if things (overall) have been going so well for a long time, there is something horrific just about to happen. Just waiting in its little corner to say, 'Ha, gotcha, don't get so carried away next time you are having a happy streak -' I have this feeling ALL the time, like I have to keep myself in check. I hate it, but 'tis true and real and who knows if it will ever change.

Regardless though... I LOVE new months!

Here are some of the things that have been making me happy:

D and I have always recognized the date back in '98 when we became a couple as seniors in high school, and we call it our "O.G. Anniversary," original anniversary, October 30th. We had planned to go to the MJ movie that day with a group and considered it our OG anniversary date and so I didn't really think more of it but I got a knock on the door on Friday afternoon with a cute lady bearing these lover-ly flowers...

I thought they were for our downstairs neighbor and that they accidentally delivered them upstairs, so it was def. a surprise!

All my love to you D. I told him that they "look like today," and he agreed :)



Do any of you remember the first CD you ever owned? (btw, I would honestly be interested in which CD that is if any of you who read this feel inclined to let me know in comments) I recall getting a portable CD player for Christmas when we lived in Idaho, I think I was 12, so what's that? 1993? My first CD was Michael Bolton. I played the life out of the song Time Love and Tenderness and daydreamed about Michael being my Fabio with his long permy golden locks... ewwww. But true. Then my 2nd CD ever was Michael Jackson's Dangerous. That album owns a corner of my heart; it meant a lot to me when I was that age and I loved it so much. I used to read the lyrics while inhaling the smell of the new paper insert and be in my happy place. Well that is when my love affair with MJ began. His music is where it began.



Anyway, you might guess that I was heartbroken to receive the news of his death. I loved him. We went to This Is It on Friday and I ate every bit of it up... rest in peace MJ, I know I'll get to meet you someday.

Witnessing MJ rehearse/perform "Human Nature" was a spiritual experience for me; it literally tugged at my soul and gave me chills. The personal spin he put on it and the way he enunciated those lyrics made it an entirely new song for me.

Now watch out for picture overkill as I post our best-ofs out of the probably hundreds we snapped on movie night. My friend Sarah and I had to celebrate him so we dressed up-



Had to be done.







Danielle and Steve joined us along with my mom and dad, D's mom, and Steph



D was a good sport to hold Autumn, who had passed out dead asleep during the movie



Tink and Peter Pan stopped by later that night on their way to a party to show us their costumes that they made...



Impressive!



Speaking of MJ, Croz and I had to have an encore for Halloween trick-or-treating the next day!



We went with Karin and Arthur and Codi and Luce. I mean Tink.



Mini MJ. I agree with Codi though, he does also resemble Angus from AC/DC. Ha!



Here we are ready for Halloween night



Crosby made a gentlemanly-looking vampire



Here's the back with his little cape ;)



First stop: Granny B's and she put Thomas on for him so he was zoned



Next stop: Auntie Wendie's spooktacular Halloween party! Vampire victim flapper girl, Medusa, and Sme. I am SO sad because I accidentally deleted a GREAT picture of the three of us, I only had two, bummer ):



Wrangling the kiddies



Unexpected bite



Bonnie and Clyde... Brad and Wendie looked awesome. I was lovin' the color scheme we all shared!



My vampires



Best costumes, hands down... Perseus and Medusa. Are we talking prize-winning or what? And even the little Medusa head prop... PROPS! Caitlin gave me such a genuine fright when I first glanced at her that I really wish I had it on video.



D's "cape"



We found Croz and Luce munching on cookies in the kitchen



Brinton and Caitlin with their friends "the old married couple!"



I found Lucy hanging out under the table



I think Croz had an after-sugar crash in the car home after all his cookies



Thanks again Brad and Wendie for your amazing Halloween party!

Last stop: home to watch scary movies and eat way too many Halloween treats ;)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Best-Ofs

Some "best-of" pictures as of late ...





Is Fall not the most decadent of all seasons?







Explanation: I find some funky stuff while on my thrift shopping sprees and this liederhosen thing is no exception! For 25 cents it was worth it just to see him walk around in it while it still fits!



My mom and I joined Brig at Claire's preschool costume parade. He makes the most adorable monkey with that dimple, no?



I love how you can hear him saying, "Brrrroooom, brrooommm-"



I think I have little memory flickers here and there of preschool... Claire's expression is about how I must have felt.



And then the teacher is trying to get you to do the hand jive, that's a tall order



Our stump little pumpkin patch experience, but the sky was awesome



And yes this one was "best-of"... SAD!



Dad and Crosby time



Watching me blow bubbles

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Fall Thrills



Enjoying our Fall so much!

D has been extra busy trying to get a batch of classes under his belt this semester plus working full time plus doing tile... haven't been seeing much of him ):

I was very sick over the weekend... who knows... flu? Costa Vida salad left out too long? Either way it was a beast but I feel so good now!

Croz and I have been doing our normal thing, getting outside has been so nice on these crisp days. I met some friends at Red Butte the other day and was it ever a perfect weather day; C playing with Charlotte:



I was lazy and my pics are out of order, oh well! We spotted some witches at Gardner Village the other day. This one resembled a little witch I've recently seen... she could be Lucy's sister!



THRILLER! was lots of fun as it is tradition every year. I was bummed though that the big guy who wears the spandex wasn't in it. Also one of my favorites... the lady who plays the little girl who has a monster pop out of her belly... SHE wasn't there.



Croz spying on geese under the witch bridge



Me, Autumn (my friend Sarah's little girl), and Croz. Autumn and Crosby play so well together; they laugh and have a blast



Pumpkin man. Any store we go to Croz spots the pumpkins and says, "Bumpo, bumpo!" he goes over to them and pats 'em



Sophisticated Halloween



Christina and me with our precious B&D shakes, we walked around Fashion Place looking at weird mall fare



Anyone know what's up with all these Halloween megastores? It reminded me of being back in Bangladesh with some of the weirdo outfits. Like Robinhood meets J-Lo



And... what the?!



We had some good laughs



No shortage of witches when you hit Gardner Village on a Saturday October afternoon



... they were EVERYWHERE!



A little snippit from ODT's Thriller! I love to see them dance for Thriller, but also Shut Up and Dance in the Spring.

video

The crew and our ghoul ;)



HAPPY HAUNTING EVERYONE!!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Da Guys



He felt special hangin with these construction guys waiting for our pizza at Little C's