Love Affair

With these two:



I won't pretend that life is all perfect all the time, but I will say that I couldn't have dreamed of having more loving, darling children ever in this lifetime! I have an almost 3-year-old and a newborn and all of the responsibilities that go with them, but my heart is tender right now with respect to being very grateful for what I have.

My friend Mirjeta is 24 weeks along in her second pregnancy with a second boy. She & the baby are hanging in there but she has a high-risk pregnancy (torn and low-lying placenta) where the outcome is still very unknown. The baby's amniotic fluid is next to nothing right now and she saw some specialists today who let she & her husband decide what to do for now, which will be waiting one more week to see if the baby can grow a little more.

M & I have been on the phone LOTS. I'm so glad that she's willing to talk about what she's going through; it is so heavy and emotional and I pray very fervently that this baby can survive and that Mirjeta will remain healthy. Good thoughts their way please!

Well life has become what some days feels like WAR! Fighting for time. Fighting for time to have quiet thoughts to myself, to do a puzzle with Crosby, to kiss my husband goodbye for work, to shop at the store, burp Lennox, pray, squeeze in a date night, talk on the phone or get together with friends, hop on the treadmill, open the mail, balance finances, etc etc... I used to feel there was some wiggle room, but time is feeling topped out lately. Life is truly wonderful but quite challenging in its own little way right now! I have been struggling to get to a point of feeling satisfied above all with the time I can devote to my boys, even just being at home with them! It doesn't seem possible that I've created such a whirlwind. Or maybe I am spending plenty of time but it is just not up to my standards. Or maybe they just happen to be at demanding ages. Who knows.

All I know is I have quite a longing for each of them; it's kind of weird. Like I'll be reading a book with Croz and have to be pulled somewhere else but I feel extremely horrible not being able to read 10 books like he wants. Or I feel guilty that I am not teaching Crosby to write letters or read. Or play dog train with him, pulling him around the house in his "train" Huggies box for as long as he wants. And then there's Lennox! Don't get me started. I lay him in his crib for a nap, say goodnight see you when you wake up, turn to go, and he is giddy with smiles looking up at me. How is it possible to leave? It is a common occurrence: I say goodnight multiple times because he is laying there smiling for more snuggles and talks! I am over the moon for our baby. If I had all day to play with him, make him laugh, etc I would.

I'd like to think I'm enjoying every second, that is when I'm not yelling at Crosby "NO grape juice in the living room" or scowling at D in the dark when I am the one to feed Lennox in the wee hours.

These two have started their relationship out with a bang. Crosby is extremely kind to Lennox, that is when he feels like saying hello. Lennox follows Crosby's every milli-movement. I will try to distract him but no- his eyes follow like a hawk! He is fascinated with every single thing Crosby does or says. Crosby finds my scriptures and calls them his "magic trick book." He reads magic tricks to Lennox.



Not to mention the love of Crosby's life, construction ANYTHING. The bulk of my daily conversations with him have to do with dump trucks, graders, cement mixers, cranes. "Can I watch my scooper show?" rings in my ears all day. I've never seen such a fascination, but I guess that's a little boy for ya. Will Lennox be the same?



See why it is hard to leave this to go do boring things like laundry, dishes, or paying bills?



"Tractor sweater" Croz made it through 2 straight hours of stake conference on Sunday and we were in shock



This hat is very Lennox! I love seeing his face all snuggled in hats.



When it's lotion & jam time, Croz always gets in this position, hands behind his head. I think it is so cute and a little on the grown up side of things. Don't grow up!!!!